The Flern

The Flern is a new bodily organ, engineerd by Black Label. Made entirely of fireproof glass, the Flern exceeds the performance of traditional bodily organs by nearly 70% in double blind testing. The Flern is more reliable than traditional bodily organs too. That means less death, and more barbeques, for you and your friends.

With the Flern you can eat what you like, drink what you like, and smoke whatever you like whenever you like. You can be free! Just call 1-800-MY-FLERN to schedule one of the patented 'Nearly Painless' implanting procedures.