Monday 29 December 2008

Shake Your Shyness

Did you know that nearly 50% of the adult population in the U.S. is believed to be shy? That on average, shy men marry later in life? And that shyness causes shy people to miss out on opportunities that others would embrace?

Shyness is a psychological state that causes a person to feel discomfort in social situations in ways that interfere with enjoyment or that cause avoidance of social contacts altogether. Shyness can vary from mild feelings to moderately uncomfortable in social circumstances to debilitating levels of anxiety that interfere in children with the process of socialization.

Tips For Shaking Your Shyness.

7 comment(s):

Anonymous said...

Gerard, I found the illustration on this post (from Bizarro?) was more fun than the article itself.


Anonymous said...

You might also have added that shy people make friends more slowly, but keep them longer!

The dictionary definition is all very well, Gerard, but it does leave a lot hanging in the air.

The good news about shyness is that most shy people work out various ways of coping (such as forcing themselves to socialize despite their anxiety).

But the bad news is that, unless they take positive steps to address the underlying habits of thought and action that fuel their shyness, this adds up to extra opportunities for anxiety.

You can do something about shyness. Shyness has been comprehensively studied since the 1970s, and the research seems to be pretty well settled. It takes time to break habits, but the effort is well rewarded.

The research base shows that the best of the "talking therapies" is CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy), which is a very practical method for dealing with the unhelpful habits that power shyness. If anyone wants to know more, they can email me on

Happy New Year, everyone!

Anonymous said...

Oh, where are my manners...? I didn't introduce myself. I'm a director of, and as part of our business we keep up to date with the research on shyness.

All the best -Rob Findlay

Gerard said...

Thanks Rob for the additional information.

Arevanye said...

Who says shy people wanted those opportunities in the first place? Who decided that everyone needs to be perky, extroverted, and gregarious all the time? What ever happened to the acceptance of personalities that embrace introspection, observation, and reserved behavior?

Sorry, Gerard, I just get a little defensive of my type of personality and the people who want us to think it needs "fixing" with dodgy medications or other means.

Sure, there are people with debilitating social phobias. Let's not put them on the same sliding scale as shy people.

Anonymous said...

Arevanya you are not being defensive. People need educating on this and you are doing your part, many thanks! It's called being an HSP. A Highly Sensitive Person. It is not a disease. Shy people are not freaks. If there were more of us, there would be a great deal less crime in the world, including war. HSP's are more creative, think deeper, and are more humane than the "insensitives". The author of the best info on HSP's is Elaine Aron: People, educate yourselves. We all have to live on this Earth together and pointing fingers towards that which you don't understand, with big scary polarizing words like "debilitating" is not condusive to creating One World. Yes I am an HSP, and yes I do consider myself higher on the evolutionary scale because of it. But, I don't label you and I love you anyway, all of you non-HSP's out there. Peace.

Anonymous said...

Previous commenter Anonymous said: "HSP's are more creative, think deeper, and are more humane than the "insensitives"...Yes I am an HSP, and yes I do consider myself higher on the evolutionary scale because of it."

Wow Anon poster way to uneducate people and make them think shy people or HSPs (as you prefer) really are snobs.

You say you don't label but you sound kinda hypocritical when you go around calling people "insensitives" and saying how you consider yourself so evolved because you're HSP while others are not.

Instead of HSP I think you should call it SLS, which stands for Special Little Snowflake.

Enjoy the pedestal you built yourself but watch out for that first step I hear it is a doozie!